Time constraints of life!

I apologize for the absence...it is kind of sad when you realize that someone with a newborn is managing to update more than you are with a 2 year old! It has been nonstop for the last couple months and I'm on the border line of getting the flu...I think just from exhaustion! I've felt like I'm about to get sick with a bit of a sore throat, tired and achy for probably a month now but I don't know how to slow down. It seems like the busier I get with work the more I try to make up for it with my toddler. I know most people require the two income household these days but I think from growing up in a home where my mom was always at home with us makes me feel like a failure sometimes. I know that is ridiculous because I also have career ambitions and was very academically focused for most of my life until Connor. As I work through lunch to ensure I can get enough done not to be late to pick up my handsome little man, rush home with him to make dinner and play and then spend the rest of the night cleaning, playing, bathing and bed time (which is still a long process for us) I feel like I should be able to do more for him. I should have time to take him out playing or something. My weekends are jam packed with as many kids activities as I can manage with grocery shopping and the other chores I have to achieve before its back to work on Monday. He's getting so big so fast and I feel like I am missing it!!! I keep being told maybe it would be better to work a couple days a week but there are a lot of flaws with that too. 1. The price of the day home for full or part time would be the same, 2. I'd like to get some debt paid down so that with baby #2, whenever that happens, I can stay home if I so chose without money dictating my decision, 3. I'm a little selfish, I don't want to sacrifice on a bunch of things...I want to do trips and take my kids to Disneyland and join all the mom and baby classes that my heart desires, 4. I may be a little OCD because I want to be good at it ALL!. I want to be the working mom that can sign up for all the neat classes, bake fun things for the holidays, keep the house perfect but not freak out when kids pull out every toy and spread them throughout the 2,100 square feet house...isn't that what the world seems to expect from moms? Be able to be the ideal mom, house wife and employee???

Calgary Toddler Fun

I've talked to some women that don't know where to go with their toddlers...Calgary is full of places designed for the little beasts so I thought I would list a few and what I thought of them...

1. Gymboree - This will always be at the top of my list for toddlers because we spend so much time there and you can bring other children with you (up to age 5) for a family class if you have more than one child. It’s great for very active children as well as more mellow kids. You can go to a play and learn class or a music class and open gym time is great to get rid of some of their pent up energy!
2. Zoo - we purchased an annual pass and find it a great way to get outside. Connor loves to make various animal sounds and just finds it amazing. I always pack snacks and drinks and either bring the stroller or the wagon depending on whether I think he may want to nap (less so now that he two but he frequently napped in his stroller at the zoo when he was younger).
3. Calgary Corn Maze - Went there a week ago for the first time and I wish I had known about it before. The place is great; it has playgrounds, petting zoo, tractor train rides, as well as the corn maze (I was told that you should wait till their older to take them in because it can take quite a while but the rest of the place was enough to entertain Connor for a few hours)
4. Calloway Park - Great place to take a toddler in the summer as I was amazed at how many rides they have for the little ones. Connor is a little crazy so flying around on rides resulted in lots of giggles and "weeeeee"'s! (I also would bring drinks and snacks with us and always brought the wagon with the cover because it is hot with very little shade)
5 - Tommy-K-Play - Fantastic for a toddler but until they are probably closer to 4 (depending on the child) you will need to wear something comfy and climb around with them because some of the spots you will need to lift them up for them to keep going. It is basically a large climbing apparatus with tunnels, slides, etc. They do have a toddler play area but it doesn't contain many toys and the battery powered toys are not usually working.
6 - Mom and baby coffee shops - These are all across the city! It is a great place to meet other moms and have a coffee while your little one explores wooden kitchens and playhouses.
7 - Swimming classes - There are classes all around the city at different times (so good for working parents) for all ages. Connor has taken two sets of lessons now and loves the pool.
8 - Sportball classes - We have registered for Sportball starting in November. So I'll have to update on this then but it is basically a ball sport introductory class covering 8 different ball sports including soccer, baseball, basketball, etc.

I know there is a lot more out there but this is what we have done with Connor (or will be doing soon).

Busy, busy, busy....

I think its a standard North American answer to "How are you?" - "Good but busy!". Our lives just seem to disappear. I envy Europeans and the more laid back attitude on life. I can't seem to get half the things done that I need to do and I'm a fairly organized person. How do others do this work/parent thing? I get to work at 7am (so I can handle day care pick up), usually end up working through lunch (because we're busy!), rush out at 3:45 to get to the day home at 4:15, go home, cook dinner, run after a toddler playing or swimming or at Gymboree class, and then hopefully cuddle him to sleep at 9:30. Somewhere in there I do laundry, the dishes and all your normal household stuff. Now we are into birthday season for my prenatal class so I have one or two birthday parties a weekend for the month, plus Halloween and the Gymboree party as well as Connor's 2 year photo shoot. I need about 5 more of me to handle this!!! But I'm not alone so how the heck do you women do it without getting cranky by Friday!?!?! Maybe I'll pack up my family and move to Europe and see if I can adapt to the lifestyle?!?!?!

Birthdays

A lot of time, and even more money, goes into kids birthday parties. I spent a lot of time finding the best jungle themed birthday decorations, ordered a custom cake, booked Gymboree as the venue, bought numerous drinks and snacks and ordered WAY too much food from Pizza Hut. I tend to go overboard on everything I do and the birthday party probably cost me $700-800 by the time I was done. So when 5 adults and 3 kids cancelled the day of (two people a couple hours before and everyone else AFTER the party started) it is infuriating! That is a lot of people to pay for meals for and have them no-show. I have no problem with people cancelling the day before but any later than that I just have no patience for when dinner is involved. For the Americans out there...how do you do it?!?! That would definitely be a culture shock for me if I moved to the US where, as I understand it, RSVP's usually aren't done.

Besides that, the birthday party went amazing. Connor's favorite teacher ran the class, my best friend ran around helping ensure everything was organized and remained on time and I think all the kids (that did attend) had a blast. I have to say that I truly love kids birthday parties! The look on Connor's face as people sang to him and his enjoyment and "wow, wow, wow" over the presents was priceless. So, regardless of my complaining, it was a success!

The problem is that even with attendance mishaps...I'm already thinking about what I can do for next year...

Swim Lessons and Urinals!

Swim Lessons and urinals...you would think that the two would be separate topics, wouldn't you??? I thoroughly enjoy watching my husband go out of his comfort zone...which I'm sure he appreciates! Swimming lessons started on Monday and all seemed to go fairly well, minus the fact that Connor would see other things he wanted to do during the lesson and I could occasionally hear him give his dad hell for not letting him go do whatever it was he saw. Most of the lesson was smiles, so successful. At the end Connor played in the kiddie pool for a while and had a great time. When he decided that climbing in and out was the best part is when it was time to go. Chris causally asked if I wanted to take him to get him changed...no, thanks! So grudgingly Chris and Connor disappeared into the change room. I was waiting at the doors for them to emerge from the change room...when they walked out I could immediately tell something had happened. Chris had a lopsided smile on his face and was looking guilty and Connor was grinning ear to ear and looked very pleased with himself. Apparently while Chris was changing Connor ran around the corner...so he pulled up his shorts and went after him, only to find him elbow deep playing in the urinals. The looks on their faces were priceless and all I could say as I started to giggle at Chris's now mortified expression was..."did you wash his arms?"

How do germaphobes handle being parents??? I admit, I was bad in the beginning and I still have my limits but the things toddlers eat, play with, handle...at some point don't you have to shrug and go with the old age "what doesn't kill them makes them stronger"??

Terrible Twos? I think not...at least not yet!

Connor is 2 today! I'm so excited and definitely going overboard. I never thought I could love a little monster so much and want to do everything and anything in my power to spoil him rotten! I'm working through lunch to get home early so that I can go to Toys R Us again...can a kid really have too many toys?? (OK, maybe don't answer that!) Everyone talks about the terrible twos and yet I think that this is the easiest stage yet. Perhaps because he was an infant that wanted to be in arms continuously or because it took him a while to sleep through the night or maybe I've just learned to relax and trust what I am doing (most of the time). So far 2 is by far the best age!!!! I'm loving the communication...even the "No, no, no!" finger waggling that has started (thank you again toopy!).

Sorry for the absence...we went on vacation for two weeks. Will write more on the birthday party coming up this weekend, the toopy and binoo live performance we will be attending as well as camping with a toddler shortly...this week is insane so this is short and sweet!

Mommy Instinct

I always tell everyone...trust your instinct...ignore most of the advice you get and do what is right for your child. Well...I should have stayed home on Wednesday when I wrote my last post about how guilty I was feeling. On my way home with a birthday cake in hand for my husband, my cell rings and our care provider says that Connor woke up from him nap feeling worse and was it ok to give him some Tylenol. I, of course, said yes and hurried home (I was about 10 minutes away) cause she sounded really worried. When I got home he didn't even get up off the couch to great me...which is beyond strange...and when I went over to him he just looked at me with his huge blue eyes and his breathing was really raspy. I had a moment of panic. Picked him up and told her to grab his shoes I was taking him to the walk in clinic. Phoned my husband on route and told him to meet us there. It took about an hour to see a doctor who immediately sent us to urgent care with a letter of what he had seen. He wouldn't tell me what he thought it could be just that he's struggling for air and needs a chest x-ray. By the time I got out of the walk in clinic, Chris was waiting ,and the first thing I said to him was "We have to get to urgent care NOW. I'll explain in the car". The whole night was horrible. Breathing masks, medicine, inhalers, baby x-rays (which look like mini torture devices). Later that night they said that it was actually the best case scenario and was pneumonia. Being the best case scenario we could take him home. If there was the slightest change we were to go straight to the Children's Hospital. We got home that night absolutely worn out. You would think that after 3-4 hours of scream crying Connor would have passed out on the way home, but no, so we got his prescription and picked up McD's (instead of the rib birthday dinner I had planned). It was a rough couple days after that but now he is feeling much better, although hates the antibiotics and fights me on it twice a day. I'm still waking up multiple times a night to watch him breath. I don't know how long that will continue but I just need to sit there and watch him breathing to confirm that he is in fact ok. The first night after the warnings to keep an eye on him I don't think I slept at all and would watch his chest for a few minutes every half an hour. I should have trusted how badly I felt about leaving him and stayed home...there has to be something to this mommy instinct.

Heartbreak and Cuddles

There is nothing more heartbreaking than having to walk out of the door in the morning when your toddler doesn't want to let go and has been up most of the night ill. It is gut wrenching. Connor was sick two days ago and then his nose started running yesterday and he was up all night having trouble breathing through his nose which would wake him up. He thought he should get to watch toopy and binoo at 1am. Poor little man. Usually he is asleep when I go to work but I opened the bathroom door to mommy calls and there he was standing in his little monkey pj's with his rabbit in one hand and a sippy of water in the other looking at me like I had abandoned him! It was horrible and only got worse when it was time to go. I ended up leaving half an hour later than normal because I'd try and leave and he'd start to sob so I'd sit and cuddle him and tell him I loved him but I have to work. The horrible guilty feeling of leaving was only enhanced when I read my monthly update email from Pampers on 23 months that had a section on giving your child lots of love and cuddles when they aren't feeling well. Can't wait to get home for cuddles...

Monkey Man

I haven't posted for a couple weeks because life has become ridiculous. I am beyond busy at work and working overtime so when I get home Connor needs me to make up for not being there. I need my vacation to get here NOW! I'm so close to crashing and I know I'm becoming less productive which makes it all the more disheartening. Connor is an active child regardless, but now that he feels the need to make every moment with mommy count, if I stop to wash the dishes or do laundry he climbs something. His room being monkey themed seems more than appropriate now. He is my little monkey and he has the best monkey impressions ever...so freaking cute! The climbing is getting to be a bigger problem though. I got home from work and after a bit of play time decided I needed to get the dishes done. I reached into the dishwasher for some plates, stood up, and he's sitting at the really high bar stool at the kitchen island!! A three foot drop to hardwood...I shrieked and ran around to grab him before he fell and he just gave me his little evil grin as if to say...did you think I'd let you empty that dishwasher lady??! He proceeded to climb the couch and balance on the arm well calling "mamma" in this little testing voice and then climbed over his highchair and was stuck upside down on that when I reached him. We moved into the playroom and I got distracted putting a couple of the toys away and when I turned around he was standing on the arm of the chair climbing over it onto a rocking horse giving me his little devil grin. It is unbelievable how fast they can appear on the top of something! He is also now moving objects so that he can get leverage to climb other items that he otherwise couldn't reach. He carried his little singing table into my bedroom and used the edge of my bed to climb onto it so that he could stand in the middle of it and reach the TV. Un-freaking-believable!!! There is no safe "out of reach" area now. Everything from the top of dressers to the table are fair game if there is something he wants. The best part of it all is that he's got the mommy manipulation down to an art! If he knows I'm getting mad he'll come over wrap his cute little arms around my neck, give me the best little smile, say "mamma" in a loving little voice and give me a huge kiss. Now tell me how you are supposed to stay mad at that?!?!? This is definitely the most work of any age I've encountered yet but also the most fun. He loves to be going and laughs continuously. It is amazing...and frustrating!

Family

Most of us have that one family member that creates angst and stress. When you are in the process of growing your own immediate family what is the best way to deal with these members of your family? Ignore them, push them out, embrace them??? I don't think there is a "right" answer. I think you need to approach it in a way you are comfortable and able to. There is no easy answer because even when you push the person out of your life to avoid the stress of the situation on yourself and your little one it is always going to be in the back of your mind. There comes a time in our lives when we need to be responsible for our actions, regardless of what life has thrown our way or what issues we need to overcome. As parents we need to learn to let go and let our children grow and develop into their own people which can be especially difficult when our children face more difficulties than normal. We all want our children to know they are unconditionally loved but sometimes conditions of that love has to be put in place for their greater good. I hope more than anything in the world that I will never experience that in the way I have watched others face. I think it takes a lot of strength to put those conditions in a relationship whether it is for children or parents. I am incredibly lucky to have a great support group of friends and sisters (as well as a frustrating husband;-) ).

Connor Care

I've received a few emails asking about what I have done about the day home situation so I thought I should write a quick post about it. My day home was permanently closed because the agency (right or wrong, everyone has a strong opinion) did not feel it would be safe for children until she had her problems with her ex sorted out. She is going to come to my house for the month of August as a nanny and then work on setting up her own private day home. She has been speaking to family services about the situation and wants to ensure that they are comfortable providing her with her license and has given them all the information. They feel that if there is no further problems since the last encounter than she should be able to open Sept. 1. Now if this was anyone else I would probably find a new day home but because she is one of the most open, honest people I know and I completely trust her with all of Connor's safety concerns I am willing to wait and put him in her private day home once it is started. I have been up every night for a week thinking this over and some people agree with me and others disagree but I would never, never, never do anything that I thought would put Connor in any sort of risky situation and I have to go with my gut feeling. I did not think it was possible to find someone that would love my child the way she does and that he would care about so deeply. I am so happy that she will remain in his life and remain his caretaker during the day because lets face it, if I have to work, he needs to be with someone that unconditionally loves him.

Gender confused rat???

Have any of you seen Toopy and Binoo??? Is Toopy male or female? This is a constant debate in our house as it is now Connor's favorite TV show and he gets quiet upset if the TV is on and it is not one of the many PVR recordings of Toopy and Binoo. He smiles, laughs and frowns at the episodes and it is impossible not to be mesmerized by him while he's watching! I don't see the appeal but obviously there is something to this gender confused rat and his odd little speech impaired friend that has all of these kids so enthralled! You know its bad when you have the theme song stuck in your head and you find yourself humming it at your desk at work. I would prefer it if Connor was still enjoying Handy Manny or Jake and the Neverland Pirates, but I guess I have to roll with the cartoons of his choosing instead of mine...

Day Homes vs. Daycares

Pre Connor I was an advocate of the day care system. I liked the organization of it, the regulations, multiple care providers, etc. Post Connor, my opinions were altered on care providers and I leaned toward the day home care due to the one-on-one attention and more intimate atmosphere. Today, I truly believe that the appropriate option is based on the child and the specific facility. Until yesterday, I was lucky enough to have Connor in the most amazing day home where the woman loved him unconditionally and understood his sleep issues and never made a big deal about them. I could not have been happier with the care. Due to problems with her ex-husband, my day home lady has been temporarily suspended until the agency can fully understand the situation and ensure that the children are safe. It feels like my life has come crashing down...yes, a little over dramatic...but this woman loves my child and I truly feel like she cares for him in a way that I could only hope to find in a care provider while I am at work. I'm looking into temporary care at day cares, and I think Connor will enjoy aspects of it now that he is older, but he is so sensitive that this truly scares me. The agency provided me with names of other day homes that can do back up care but that terrifies me because I don't know them and they did not come recommended by a friend. I'm sure everyone has this fear and perhaps, if I go and interview them, this fear would dissipate but right now I am anxiously awaiting the call to let me know how long they expect the suspension to last. Even with that I have mixed emotions because although I truly believe that she is the best person to be caring for my child how can I be sure that it will remain a safe environment if her ex has gone a little crazy??? I was up all night thinking about that. I don't think that the man would ever harm any of the children but I also don't want Connor exposed to any potentially ugly situations. And at the same time Connor loves our day home provider and she is amazing and I hate to keep him away. I guess this is a risk of the day home that I had never previously considered. The care can be there one day and gone the other whereas if you are at a daycare they can replace workers. If anyone reading this is in Calgary and knows of a day home or daycare that they truly love and may have a temporary space...I would love and appreciate the feedback.

Pinches and Kisses

You have to love toddlers and the fact that you don't know if they are going to pinch the kid next to them or kiss them! Watching parents react to their kids is almost equally amusing. You have parents that freak out over every bit of child contact and then you have parents that are totally laid back and are unconcerned as long as no one is hurt. Very rarely do parents fit in the middle spectrum. I think I'm somewhere in the middle but someone watching me could very well think otherwise. I'd like to be unconcerned but I always feel bad when I know that Connor's loving isn't appreciated by the other parents!

My day home was closed yesterday so I took Connor to a mom and tot coffee shop for some quality mom and toddler play time. We had a blast but I never knew what Connor was going to do next. Some kids he adores and others...he just pinches to keep them at bay! He's also got a really good overhand throw which he's testing out everywhere....and aim isn't great so I had to catch his hand a few times so he didn't nail a baby with a wooden toy! There was only one kid that I really had to keep him separated from. He doesn't like (I know this sounds mean) but dirty kids. The kids with snot all over their faces he is really opposed to coming anywhere near him and will continue to pinch and push until they leave. I was really struggling to keep the stern face on yesterday because honestly, as mean as it is the kid was gross, and Connor wanted him away. Of course I would catch him pinching and tell him we don't pinch and have a little chat and redirect him to a different area but I don't really know what else you can do at this age. Other kids he goes running up to he gives a huge hug and a big kiss while he has them pinned (so far, to his fathers delight, that has only happened with little girls!). I don't know how you other moms feel about contact but I would love to know your thoughts because what makes me uncomfortable is how the other parents feel about their kids being loved by another kid. Right now, I just try to accept that you have to let them play and be kids and every parent will react different so Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be).

Cowboys & Babies

Stampede is over half way done and I'm exhausted! Working in a male dominated industry I find it amusing that most lunches and functions I attend the guys, all in cowboy hats instead of suites, are showing me pictures of their kids on their IPhones. It's like now that I am a mom that is the only thing I think about (which really isn't far from the truth to be honest!). Prior to having a baby I may have found this annoying but now I truly don't. I love talking about what kids are doing and the things they get into as they get older. I really have developed a one track (baby) mind!

We have taken full advantage of stampede...we've used the crowds being downtown to take Connor to the zoo and calaway park. It has been fantastic! The lineups for the penguins last weekend were 15 mins and every time we have been to the zoo since the exhibit opened the line has been over 2 hours. (I love the penguins but couldn't imagine waiting for that long. The 15 minute wait was long enough with a toddler). It turns out that the calaway season tickets were a great idea. There are so many rides for little ones that we went from ride to ride with Connor...it was a blast! We have not attempted the Stampede grounds with Connor because the idea of getting through those crowds with him wanting to run just doesn't seem like a good idea. We did do one pancake breakfast which was great. I think next year I'll take a day off during stampede and attempt to bring him down to the grounds once for the super dog show. I did see lots of strollers and I'm sure others had fun with their kids on the grounds...I just don't think it would be right for Connor this year (and I have bad luck with crowds...when I was prego a drunk guy thought it would be funny to spit on me...).

Happy Stampeding!

Welcome Home Smiles

I just read one of the cutest blogs...Honest Toddler...life from the toddlers perspective! I love it and added it to my blog list for those that want to check it out. The blog entry I just read was the toddlers view of daddy coming home at night...I loved it because I'm lucky enough to be the person that gets to do pick up duty and my poor husband is in charge of drop off for the day home. There is nothing more amazing than that "you are here now!" look. It melts my heart. I had a stampede function last night and when I opened the back door (I went home early so I wouldn't miss bed time), I heard "Momma!!" and little fat feet slapping against the hardwood as he ran from one end of the house to the other in his mission to get to me. When he reached me he wrapped his little arms around my legs, patted me and wouldn't let me take my shoes off. That heart stopping smile beaming at me with the "it is about bloody time" look made my entire day melt away and made the idea of being "pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen" sound like heaven! LOL! That might not make anyone else happy since my cooking isn't exactly wonderful and I am huge pregnant!!!

Happy Friday and enjoy those wonderful little smiles! I CANNOT wait to get home and see Connor tonight. Since its Stampede we'll be doing anything not Stampede related for the weekend as it gives us a chance to get out and (hopefully) avoid large crowds. If Chris isn't stuck working all weekend we may go to the Zoo and/or Calloway Park.

All you need is love...and birthday parties!

I love that Beatles song! I woke up humming it...I don't know if it was on the alarm radio this morning or where I heard it but I just love it! I am a dreamer and definitely believe that "all you need is love"!! I had an amazing night with Connor last night (Chris had his first stampede work function...we'll be trading off days over the next two weeks to attend the different events). I picked Connor up from his day home and we went and played at Gymboree until they kicked us out! He was hilarious and was the highlight of my day. He was climbing and laughing and I swear he has changed again in the last week...he's getting so big!

I'm very tempted to do his second birthday party at Gymboree again (that's where I had his first birthday party and I highly recommend it). Chris thinks that I need to do something different and my other options include the zoo or having a petting zoo come to the house. Any suggestions??? I love birthdays and I think Connors will continue to get more extravagant every year. I want it to always be an incredibly special day for him because I remember every one of my birthday parties growing up. Not everyone agrees with me on my birthday excitement and prefer to have just a family get together...but I love big birthdays and seeing the excitement on a child's face that the day is just about them! I may be slightly extreme...but I love it!!! The nice thing about the zoo and Gymboree is I won't have to clean up after...or before ;-) I have 2 months to plan and I'm already getting excited and thinking of what to do for goodie bags!!

Dr. Seuss was a smart man

There is nothing that seems more apt for every strange life situations than Dr. Seuss quotes. The one that matches my mood today is...

“You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

 

There are so many moving parts to life and sometimes, with everything apparently great on the outside, there is turmoil within. I can't talk about some of the things I'm going through right now on this blog so I thought an insightful Dr. Seuss quote would be a good way to start to the week! I have yet to find a situation that I am unable to find an appropriate Dr. Seuss quote to go along with it!! He was a smart, eccentric, man...did you know he didn't actually have any children?

Sleeping Hurdles

Sleeping has been the biggest struggle for us and it continues...it seems as though we get over one hurdle and another sleep hurdle pops up. I am beyond exhausted. Yes, I know, the books say you shouldn't use TV to put a child to bed and that is what I had resorted to not too long ago because it was the only thing that seemed to calm Connor down. I think he needs both an audio and visual distraction in order to calm himself down enough, and stay still enough, to go to sleep. The last few weeks we have faced a new obstacle...he doesn't want you to turn the TV off. I think what has changed is he is now watching the shows, and understanding the stories more, so he keeps himself awake for them. I've been trying to get him into bed and let him watch a couple shows then saying "sleepy time" and cuddling with him. Oh, has he been getting mad. Last night was the worst. I don't know if he has just started to have some of the night terrors that I have heard about or if he's teething or any other number of toddler upsets! If I turned the tv off he would completely lose it...even if his eyes were closed...and would not calm down. Not his usual, I'm angry about this but a truly heartbreaking cry. After 20 minutes of scream crying I just left the tv on and went to sleep! Then I woke up and turned it off later in the night. At about 3am, he woke up SCREAMING and NOTHING would calm him down. He kept asking for tv! This is a first, he never wakes through the night anymore. He was sooooo upset. After 20-25 mins of inconsolable crying, Chris said just turn on the bloody tv!! Connor calmed right down and then we both fell asleep (to wake up again at 4am to turn it off and then I have to get up at 5am for work). I've tried every sleep tactic and I don't know what to do with this child. I wish I could just relax about sleep and have the confidence to just let it be but I stress that he isn't getting enough sleep. He is so happy though so I keep trying to remind myself that if he was truly sleep deprived he wouldn't always be smiling. Every child has their one major obstacle and sleep seems to be ours. I just have to thank my lucky stars that he is a very happy child! I just desperately need the confidence to ignore people's comments when they ask me about sleeping...

Marriage and Children

Today is our 8 year wedding anniversary and I really don't know where the time went! It's amazing to think that I am 30 years old, have been married for 8 years and have an amazing 21 month old child. When I was younger I always thought that I would get married and have kids in my 30s...I did not expect to meet the love of my life so young. I am so emotional today...not sure why 8 years seems so astonishing...it isn't a major milestone but maybe it is just reflecting on all we have been through in the last two years. So many people talk about children crippling a marriage and I find it heartbreaking to think about. It is definitely hard, especially with a child who hates to sleep, to have quality time together but at the same time there is nothing that makes me happier than seeing my husband play with Connor and the two of them laughing. I am so lucky to have two amazing men in my life! Everyone warns me that if we don't spend more time just the two of us that we'll wake up one day when Connor is older and not know each other...I can't imagine that. No, we don't get a lot of time alone but we spend time out and about with the three of us laughing and playing and I think that counts as quality time just as much as a couples dinner. The other day we were walking home hand in hand pulling Connor in his wagon and I couldn't help thinking that this is all I could ever hoped for in a marriage and family.

Traveling with Babies

Most parents experience huge anxiety at the thought of traveling with infants and toddlers. It really isn't as bad as most of you, who have avoided traveling for that reason, think . When Connor was an infant we did a few trips and I can tell you that I personally found it very easy to travel with an infant (minus all the things you are trying to lug along!). Here are my tips for traveling with an infant:

1. Bring a nursing pillow for the plane - The sound of the plane will put most infants to sleep and rather than uncomfortably trying to hold them, you can lie them on the pillow on your lap and then you are also in the position to nurse them (or bottle feed them) if they start to fuss.
2. Bring a bottle, nursing cover or soother (if you use one) - If the baby does fuss on the way up or down the sucking will stop their ears from hurting (Connor never had an issue with his ears but some do)
3. Bring a good stroller - We always brought our nice big stroller. It got a little banged up but not bad and it was worth having it with us. If you're really worried about it getting banged up then you can purchase a stroller bag. We did that once but just found it too much of a hassle. We bought a very high end stroller and I find it amazing that when I go into the baby stores and say we bring it with us on trips they tell me I shouldn't...I bought it to use it...ad we definitely use it!
4. A change of clothes - My boy would have nice big explosive poops at the most inopportune times!
Traveling with a toddler (under 2 and on your lap), in my opinion, is harder than an infant because they don't want to be held still. Connor has been on a range of trips from short flights (1 hour propeller plane) to 3 hour international flights. The items that we have used for these flights include:
1. IPad (Connor can unlock, pick video, pick his cartoon and press play - and this will occupy him for a good hour!)
2. Leash (Yes, I've used one of these!! When flying by myself, I put this on him and put the leash between my legs to hold on to him while I'm folding up the stroller. You'll get lots of looks if you put your child in squeaker shoes and they're trying to get away and running on the spot!!!)
3. Snacks! Pack a variety! And of course a sippy cup...security has always been good with me and let me bring it through filled with milk although I don't think they have to let you do that when they're over a year.
4. Car seat bag - Now that it is checked luggage, and you don't have it with you like the infant seat, I bought a nice bag to put it in so that it doesn't get filthy and has some protection.

I think that covers the basics of the items I considered necessities for traveling (Yes, I consider the IPad at the top of my necessity list now...sad but true! Connor is obsessed with the IPad and I'm no longer allowed to use it.)

Happy Travels!! And don't let anyone tell you that you can't travel with kids...it may be a different kind of trip sometimes...but you can still do almost all of the same things!

Play Time!

For anyone who hasn't tried out gymboree...I would highly recommend it! There is nothing better than ending your day at gymboree open gym time! We went to open gym time last night and it made my whole exhausting, stressful day vanish! There is something so wonderful about watching your child climb, run, giggle, throw balls and have a great all around play time. Don't get me wrong, Connor laughs and has a blast at home too but there is almost something magical about the play group. The atmosphere is fantastic...with all these parents smiling and watching their children play with so much love in their eyes and they're all talking and playing with other kids that come running over to bring a total stranger a ball or smile...sounds really corny but it is truly a wonderful experience. I try to go every Tuesday but unfortunately work and life get in the way a lot of the time. We also go to the play and learn classes on Saturday mornings. For those of you not familiar with it, it is a structured play class with bubbles, peekaboo puppets, climbing apparatuses, parachute time as well as music and dance. Connor is a VERY social baby so he loves to go and show off and talk to everyone. Connor just hit 21 months and I am so enthralled with watching him participate lately. It is amazing how much they change in a short period of time. He know likes to dance along to the song and follow the directions himself whereas just a month ago we would hold him and do the motions. Where did that little baby go and when did he turn into such a big boy?!?!?! Now all the little kids are watching Connor in awe whereas just a few months ago he would watch bigger kids with that awestruck look!

On a side note...there was a couple with a little girl there last night who was crawling around and having a great time. Another parent asked how old she was (she was almost 11 months) and if she was walking yet...the parents looked a little panicky..."she's started to take a couple steps holding on to things". Why do we worry so much about movement as parents? Connor was 11 months before he was crawling and 14 months before he was walking...now he won't stop walking, climbing, dancing...I sure wish I didn't worry so much about movement before and just enjoyed his limited ability to get around! I am still guilty of this though...I check the developmental milestones every month and check that he is at or surpassing each one...

Mommy body...

I am not a big girl, never have been, but I got fairly large during my pregnancy. I gained 55 pounds and when you start out at just over 120 that is a fairly significant weight gain. I didn't retain water and swell...I just got the biggest belly and thoroughly enjoyed it. For some reason society has a tendency to want to squash the enjoyment of pregnancy. I had so many people tell me that I would never be small again and I was never going to look the same. Well, I am slightly smaller now then I was before Connor, and I find myself wanting to be in better shape than I ever was to prove the point that moms can look good too! A week ago I ran my first ever 10km race and although I didn't have a fantastic time (1 hour and 3 mins), I made my goal of completing it without ever stopping to walk. I'm very proud of myself!!! (Oh, and I did it in funky underwear to raise money for below the belt cancers...felt incredibly self conscious, but I did it!!) My goal is to keep running and stay fit so that I can do all these kinds of things with Connor as he gets older. During my maternity leave I did a stroller class and a mom and baby boot camp to kick start the process and I found it an amazing way to spend the last few months of my maternity leave. It gave me quality time with Connor and improved my self esteem. It also got me out with other moms with kids around the same age and gave me the chance to talk about any issues I was having and hear about other moms issues...which is always a good thing so that you don't feel ostracised. A really fun class to look into is mom and baby salsa. Connor loved it. He would snuggle into the carrier and sleep through the class. And if you are like me and have two left feet, your partner doesn't care! To all those beautiful pregos...don't stress and enjoy your pregnancy...join some classes and have fun with your baby to get back into shape. It makes the maternity leave so much fun!!

Boobies and Babies!

Nursing can be such a sensitive topic. Do you nurse or use formula? Do you nurse till they're one or two years old? Do you nurse in public? Do you let it all hang out or cover the girls up? Do you enjoy the bonding of it? Do you stress over milk production?...the list of questions and concerns is ongoing. I personally loved nursing and the bonding of it but I had a really rough start. Nursing is on the forefront of my mind at the moment because I just stopped nursing Connor (Yes, he's 20 months). It has been an emotional week for both Connor and I. We've been trying to stop for a couple of weeks and then I think I stopped producing milk. He got very angry and upset about it so I let him latch and when nothing came out he had a full blown hissy fit! Everyone has differing opinions on how late to nurse but for me I had originally thought I would be done at a year but Connor wouldn't take a bottle and still seemed to need that time with me so we continued on until I felt he was ready. I wasn't running around town nursing him but snuggling and nursing him for 10 mins before bed. I would get some really dirty looks from people that asked about it and then get encouragement from the public health office. The world health organization and the Canadian government both encourage nursing until the age of 2 so that is what I decided to go with in the end. I think it is a very personal decision and that only the mother can decide what is right for timing. Some people don't enjoy the experience and find it stressful but still try to make it to 6 months. I think nursing is wonderful but I struggled for the first 3 months to get him to latch properly and almost gave up on it a few times so I think that people who decide to go the formula route for whatever reason shouldn't be judged and mothers that nurse for a couple years should be left alone as well. The whole experience should be enjoyable and right for both mother and child. Now that it has really sunk in that we are done, I kind of want to cry! I was ready to finish but that bonding experience was amazing and I loved it. I know we will be bonding in different ways now but it still emotional for me...and Connor. For moms that struggle with the first few months I encourage you to go to le leche league meetings. They helped me figure it out and I'm really happy that I had that bonding cuddle time with Connor.

Trials of Motherhood

As much as you want to focus on the blessings sometimes you have to just say "thank goodness they're cute" because you really don't know what else will get you through it! I have no idea what was going on the last few nights. We've always had sleep issues...which is why I love the book "Go the F to Sleep"...but the past little while I am at an absolute loss! Last night he screamed and pinched and was absolutely losing it...I have battle wounds to prove it...and then he finally cuddled next to me and went to sleep. They only seem to go to sleep when you are in the most awkward position...my head was half off the bed...but there was no way I was going to risk moving until he was dead asleep so I held my neck up and tried to focus on reading a book for 15 mins until I thought I could shift him...bad move...would have been better off with a badly kinked neck. He woke up screaming. And my child doesn't have one of those nice little cries...it is a high pitch, shriek, death scream! He lost it for another 20 mins and was completely inconsolable. Screaming and sobbing so hard that his body was shaking. All I could do was hold him and rock him (again in an uncomfortable position that seemed to calm him best and today my hip is killing me). There is nothing worse than an inconsolable child when you have NO IDEA what is wrong. It is heart breaking!!! After a good 20 mins he passed back out and I managed to lie him down. All that runs through my head is different things it could be...teeth, tummy ache, something hurting, angry about not nursing??? He seems to be in a good mood this morning but I'm a little nervous for what tonight will bring with Chris out playing hockey again. I'm not sure I have enough energy left to get me through another bad night. Prior to last night he has been taking on average 2-3 hours to get to bed. He's figured out that he should ask for a drink or cry that he is hungry and that will get him downstairs...now that I've resorted to bringing a sippy of water and crackers to the bedroom he just yells at the door. I may have to resort to a deadlock soon if this continues cause he is busy working on the little knob locks and I don't think it will be long before he can get out of my room. Smart little bugger. He may be crazy busy but he always stops to focus on the things he figures he should be able to do. The last time he focused like this was figuring out how to open the doors. At 15 months he was jumping up to grab the handle with a finger to get through all the doors in the house. Again...THANK GOODNESS THEY'RE CUTE!!!!

Babies...

I keep talking to all these beautiful pregnant girls about all different baby issues from being peed and pooped on to nursing to fears of the unknown...it's funny to look back and think about it all because I have this little man now and it seems like forever ago that he was so little...but it was only 20 months ago that I was scared to leave the hospital and not know what to do! It makes me excited for the next one when (hopefully) I won't be as scared to go home! I recently spoke to a girl about wipe warmers and the benefits of being able to cover your little boy with a warm wipe to avoid being sprayed. I really don't think I could count the number of times I was peed on...or had one of those wonderful milky poop explosions cover my clothes on the way out the door. The most memorable of those experiences is being covered while trying to nurse in the car while visiting my sister for the first time in San Francisco. I had just started nursing him when I felt it...my pants where covered...so I tried to wrap a bunch of receiving blankets around him to go find a bathroom...SF has NO change tables anywhere. A screaming, hungry, poopy baby is not fun...especially when you yourself are also covered...after enlisting the help of my husband and sister (they finally came back to see if I was done nursing) we got him all cleaned up in the trunk of the car and then had to go find some cheap pants for me to purchase so that we could continue on to the restaurant. I never thought I would look back at it as a fond memory!

As I talk to all these new moms and moms-to-be I realize that there are so many things I want to tell them that I wish people had told me (I tend to lack a filter)...but as I'm telling them things I realize that it doesn't come across as I want it to...how do you explain being pooped on as a good memory, or that you're exhausted and glowing happy, or that when they won't go to bed till 11pm and you can't get the kitchen cleaned and your stressed but they smile at you and say "momma" that nothing else matters? All I can say is that the little things people are trying to tell you so that you are aware of things you'll encounter, isn't a list of bad things, but things to make you more prepared. There is no way to explain the love and happiness you'll feel so the amazing parts aren't left out because they are insignificant but because they are indescribable!

May Long Weekend

Thoughts of May Long bring to mind drinks, camping and parties...I'll admit, I was never a big party girl, but that is still what thoughts of May Long conjure up. I am totally and completely consumed by my little monster these days and my thoughts for the long weekend include Gymboree, TommyKPlay, wagon walks and backyard play! And I don't think I have ever been more excited for weekends! (Yes...to my beautiful sister south of the border...I am a dork...BUT a very happy one...while thinking of the weekend anyway!)
One of my good friends emailed me with the following "On my list of to-do's is catch frogs, catch newts and build a fort! What a grown-up girl I am!". What a great way to live life! I hope everyone has great weather and enjoys the time with their little ones (or has a great time planning for their arrivals!!). HAPPY LONG WEEKEND!

Happy Belated Mother's Day!!

Happy VERY belated Mothers Day to everyone (including those beautiful mothers-to-be)!!! I hope everyone enjoyed their special day! I received the cutest email with quotes...these were my favorites:

"Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books. That somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears."

"Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good." That somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee."

Those quotes remind me that I have so much to look forward to!!! At the moment just sticking a finger up the nose is amusing! So many mothers think that they did something wrong when their child develops issues...I would like to tell those moms that you can only do so much and at that point you need to let your child venture out on their own and how they proceed is no reflection on your abilities. (Much easier said than done...I can only imagine...and yet I hope those moms realize it at some point!)

I had a fantastic mother's day. I was a little under the weather so Connor and I cuddled and had a long nap together and then we spent the afternoon with my father-in-law at Heritage Park at the Day out with Thomas the Train event. I definitely recommend that outing for toddlers. What a great day with horse and carriage rides and a 20 minute train ride. Connor decided to throw his new Thomas hat out the window of the train so my father-in-law was forced to run into the "no-entry" section to retrieve it! I love mother's day as a day to reflect on how lucky I am to have such a crazy, wonderful, little monster!

Wagons?!?

It never ceases to amaze me what we will pay for pieces of plastic and how much research can go into the purchase. My husband and I must have looked crazy with the IPhone out doing research on wagons while standing in toys-r-us pulling each wagon off the shelf to pull Connor around the isles to see how smooth the wheels were and how well it turned (really...does it even matter...it's a wagon!). As we started to narrow it down, we had to take the wagons for multiple trips around the store...decided that an umbrella or cover was mandatory for our whiter-than-white baby and then started to research wheel type...it was all kind of ridiculous! In the end, rather than purchasing an ordinary wagon we left with the mercedes version...Radio Flyer Ultimate Family Wagon...5 way seating, 4 cup holders and a tent-like canopy to keep the little white baby out of the sun. It really is amazing to what extent parents go to when purchasing a simple plastic toy!

On a purchasing side not...I wasn't aware that babysteals.com had a version for older kids...kidsteals.com...I just bought Connor two pairs of DC Shoes. YES, I have a problem!!!!

Planning for Summer Weekends...

Now that the weather is starting to improve I'm planning all the summer adventures we can have with Connor now that he is more mobile! Annual passes always make a great purchase if you plan on getting out a lot with your little one. We currently have a Calgary Zoo annual pass that we used enough to pay for itself multiple times over and will likely renew again this summer. Another fun pass is for Calaway Park...these are on sale right now for cheap...and if your baby is under 2 they are free! http://www.calawaypark.com/general.html

Great websites for new moms

So I had a bit of a online shopping problem while I was on mat leave and thought I should share these two websites with the new or soon-to-be new moms! You can get some great products at great prices!

http://www.babysteals.com/
http://www.mamabargains.com/

Piece of advise...try and remember what you order! ;-) My favorite was when a bunch of stuff I had forgotten about all arrived on the same day and my husband came back from the mailbox with 4 packages and a look that said "What the h&ll have you been up to?!?" I was like a kid on Christmas opening them and saying "Wow! I forgot about this!"...I was much more impressed than he was!

Infants...a true blessing...and a whole new world of gadgets.

It feels like everyone around me is pregnant or struggling to get pregnant. Many of us hit our early 30's and it seems to preoccupy our beings. After numerous conversations on infants and baby products (and after the toy sale on the weekend...that would have been great to go to if I had an infant but not so good for a toddler) I am writing this blog for the girls who want opinions on baby products...since I've purchased most of the products available! Here is my list of items that helped me survive a new baby...

1. bouncy chair - I could not figure out how to shower with a baby before I purchased one of these...and then I went and bought another one for the main floor so that I could have my coffee in peace!

2. swing - what a wonderful invention...we had the fisher price my little lamb cradle swing and it was fantastic!

3. play mat - it is amazing how fascinated infants are with a few things dangling down at them and this is great for tummy time

4. nursing cover and glamour mom nursing tanks - I'm not a hang it out there girl and when that baby wants to nurse (mine has a high pitch shriek) it is time to pull her out! I loved the glamour mom nursing tanks because I found them comfortable and easy to use (still wear them to bed). The nursing cover I liked best was the one with the wire at the top so that you could look down at the baby...Connor liked to pull the cover off so if I could see him I could save myself and anyone around me the flashing.

5. exersaucer and jumperoo - two fantastic items to get for around 6 months cause they are safe and occupied (and the jumperoo will wear out those busy babies!)

6. co-sleeper - if I had known that I would have ended up with a baby in the bed I definitely would have bought one of these! By the time I could actually admit that I was sleeping with him he was too big!

7. diaper genie - amazingly simple, fantastic invention...basically a special garbage can with a lid so that as those poops start to stink your whole house won't! (Although with some poops nothing helps and it just needs to be taken out! LOL)

8. Sophie the giraffe - an expensive version of the dog squeaky toy...and worth every dime! I don't know how many teeth this helped Connor with but he would drool and chew and squeak everywhere we went.

9. bumbo seat - This was fantastic for Connor because he loved to be able to see what was going on and this assists them with sitting long before they can actually sit on their own. Connor loved to watch me make dinner while sitting in his bumbo.

10. receiving blankets - a not so fun staple for a spitter. Connor was a big spitter so I went through probably 15 of these little cloths a day whether I had it on my shoulder while I was burping him or putting them under him while he was lying on the floor or using it to wipe a big puke off of the floor. As much as this isn't as fun a product as the others I thought it was important enough to include...although a lot of my friends didn't have spitters and never used theirs...it was a staple in our household!

I'm missing a lot of great products but these were some of my favorite, most useful items.

Weekend Events!

Just thought I would all the Calgary moms know that this weekend there is a used toy sale in Okotoks...I'm not sure what its like but I'm going to go check it out! http://okotoksmomsale.com/

Also...if you haven't heard Thomas the Train is coming to town in a week for a couple weekends. We booked our train ride on the 13th and I think there may be a few spots left but it was selling out!

http://heritagepark.ca/dowt2012/main.html

Mothers Guilt

No matter how much confidence you try and have there is always guilt associated with motherhood...as I am learning. Have I done enough of this? Should I have done that? Why can't I be everywhere and do everything???? Today Connor gets his 18 month shots and I'm not there. Chris, who is horrible with needles, is taking him. I feel sick. Shouldn't a mother be there to hold their child as they get their shots?!? Chris is his dad and he will be amazing with him, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I have to give credit to women who work and have more than one child. I don't know how this balancing act works! I can't seem to find that balance that I am comfortable with. I need to work, I need to be a good mom, I need to try and keep the house presentable, I need to find time for me...I need a lot more hours in the day! Motherhood is amazing but it is also a delicate balancing act and I feel like I'm falling off right now...

Go The F*&k to Sleep!

Have you read the book? Best book in the world! The book was written by Adam Mansbach. When his daughter was two, she would take up to two hours to fall asleep, which led to the book. Connor is only 19 months and lately bedtime takes approx 2 hours or longer so this is one of my favorite books. My big sis sent it to me for Christmas last year (Sleep issues have been ongoing since the beginning). Sleep is such a sensitive topic because the people who have the good sleepers always seem to make the conclusion that you have done something wrong..."Maybe you didn't put him down enough"..."Maybe you should have let him cry for longer"..."You shouldn't let him nurse to fall asleep"...come on! When you are sleep deprived and your baby refuses to sleep you'll do anything to get them to "Go the F*&k to Sleep"!!! I've read so many books on baby sleep habits it is ridiculous. When Connor was about 6 months Chris came into the room to check on me (I was supposed to be having a nap and he heard a loud noise). I had taken the baby whisperer book and chucked it against the wall and was in tears. It was taking me an hour and a half of rocking, putting him down, picking him up, rocking, patting, etc to get him to have a 20 minute nap!!! This was happening twice a day for about a month...I was losing my mind! At 7 months I had given up on the various books and had pulled him into my bed to sleep with me where he would nurse for 10 minutes and have a nice 2 hour nap during the day...everything with this was wrong according to the books but it was the only thing that worked for my little monster! Every book was telling me I was a bad mom for doing this...until I got the Dr. Sears book. I love that book because it describes Connor and worked for me (even though most people judge and the looks I get when I say he's in my bed are like I'm giving the kid a glass of rum to go to sleep or something!). For all those new moms...use whatever methods work for you! I like the idea of the baby whisperer but that wouldn't work for Connor...worked for some of my other friends and I will definitely try again with the next one but for Connor the only and best sleep method was to co-sleep...and not even that is fool proof...hence the long drawn out bed times! But I am lucky because he is super happy even when he is over tired. When I'm trying to cuddle him to get him to relax and he puts his little sweaty hand on my face and says "momma" I think that there is nothing better in the world than to have my happy non sleeping baby snuggling me in MY bed!

A New Word for Love??

A love for a child is something so indescribable that it should have its own word. I'm sure we've all talked to people that have said “you won't know what it’s like to love a child until you have had one”...I used to think they were crazy because I loved a lot of people in my life, why wouldn't I know what it is like to love just cause I didn't have a child? I still disagree as I think you know what to expect BUT I don’t think it is possible to realize the impact of how it affects you. I just spent a long weekend with Connor in Castlegar for my baby sisters graduation. After spending three full days with him I was in tears coming into work. I miss him so much today that it is ridiculous! My chest hurts. It is an all consuming love that I think it should have its own word. Any suggestions??

Blog

I thought I would start this blog to let other moms know that they aren't alone in the trials of motherhood. I have found through various mommy groups and children play places that our society pushes guilt and expectations on motherhood that are not reasonable. For example, my beautiful, amazing, talented little man didn't crawl until he was 11 months old...from places that I took him and conversations that I had with other moms you would think that either 1. there was something wrong with his development or 2. I was a failure as a mother for not placing objects out of his reach and letting him get upset enough to move to get them. Every child develops differently and has there slower developments and faster developments. I think it is so important that moms realize that they need to just enjoy each stage and not to have the guilt associated with expectations so I decided I would start this blog to discuss the concerns, scares and joys of motherhood as well as products and services that I have researched and tested.

I have never managed a blog so please be patient as I work out the kinks!!