Friday, June 29, 2012

Sleeping Hurdles

Sleeping has been the biggest struggle for us and it continues...it seems as though we get over one hurdle and another sleep hurdle pops up. I am beyond exhausted. Yes, I know, the books say you shouldn't use TV to put a child to bed and that is what I had resorted to not too long ago because it was the only thing that seemed to calm Connor down. I think he needs both an audio and visual distraction in order to calm himself down enough, and stay still enough, to go to sleep. The last few weeks we have faced a new obstacle...he doesn't want you to turn the TV off. I think what has changed is he is now watching the shows, and understanding the stories more, so he keeps himself awake for them. I've been trying to get him into bed and let him watch a couple shows then saying "sleepy time" and cuddling with him. Oh, has he been getting mad. Last night was the worst. I don't know if he has just started to have some of the night terrors that I have heard about or if he's teething or any other number of toddler upsets! If I turned the tv off he would completely lose it...even if his eyes were closed...and would not calm down. Not his usual, I'm angry about this but a truly heartbreaking cry. After 20 minutes of scream crying I just left the tv on and went to sleep! Then I woke up and turned it off later in the night. At about 3am, he woke up SCREAMING and NOTHING would calm him down. He kept asking for tv! This is a first, he never wakes through the night anymore. He was sooooo upset. After 20-25 mins of inconsolable crying, Chris said just turn on the bloody tv!! Connor calmed right down and then we both fell asleep (to wake up again at 4am to turn it off and then I have to get up at 5am for work). I've tried every sleep tactic and I don't know what to do with this child. I wish I could just relax about sleep and have the confidence to just let it be but I stress that he isn't getting enough sleep. He is so happy though so I keep trying to remind myself that if he was truly sleep deprived he wouldn't always be smiling. Every child has their one major obstacle and sleep seems to be ours. I just have to thank my lucky stars that he is a very happy child! I just desperately need the confidence to ignore people's comments when they ask me about sleeping...

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Marriage and Children

Today is our 8 year wedding anniversary and I really don't know where the time went! It's amazing to think that I am 30 years old, have been married for 8 years and have an amazing 21 month old child. When I was younger I always thought that I would get married and have kids in my 30s...I did not expect to meet the love of my life so young. I am so emotional today...not sure why 8 years seems so astonishing...it isn't a major milestone but maybe it is just reflecting on all we have been through in the last two years. So many people talk about children crippling a marriage and I find it heartbreaking to think about. It is definitely hard, especially with a child who hates to sleep, to have quality time together but at the same time there is nothing that makes me happier than seeing my husband play with Connor and the two of them laughing. I am so lucky to have two amazing men in my life! Everyone warns me that if we don't spend more time just the two of us that we'll wake up one day when Connor is older and not know each other...I can't imagine that. No, we don't get a lot of time alone but we spend time out and about with the three of us laughing and playing and I think that counts as quality time just as much as a couples dinner. The other day we were walking home hand in hand pulling Connor in his wagon and I couldn't help thinking that this is all I could ever hoped for in a marriage and family.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Traveling with Babies

Most parents experience huge anxiety at the thought of traveling with infants and toddlers. It really isn't as bad as most of you, who have avoided traveling for that reason, think . When Connor was an infant we did a few trips and I can tell you that I personally found it very easy to travel with an infant (minus all the things you are trying to lug along!). Here are my tips for traveling with an infant:

1. Bring a nursing pillow for the plane - The sound of the plane will put most infants to sleep and rather than uncomfortably trying to hold them, you can lie them on the pillow on your lap and then you are also in the position to nurse them (or bottle feed them) if they start to fuss.
2. Bring a bottle, nursing cover or soother (if you use one) - If the baby does fuss on the way up or down the sucking will stop their ears from hurting (Connor never had an issue with his ears but some do)
3. Bring a good stroller - We always brought our nice big stroller. It got a little banged up but not bad and it was worth having it with us. If you're really worried about it getting banged up then you can purchase a stroller bag. We did that once but just found it too much of a hassle. We bought a very high end stroller and I find it amazing that when I go into the baby stores and say we bring it with us on trips they tell me I shouldn't...I bought it to use it...ad we definitely use it!
4. A change of clothes - My boy would have nice big explosive poops at the most inopportune times!
Traveling with a toddler (under 2 and on your lap), in my opinion, is harder than an infant because they don't want to be held still. Connor has been on a range of trips from short flights (1 hour propeller plane) to 3 hour international flights. The items that we have used for these flights include:
1. IPad (Connor can unlock, pick video, pick his cartoon and press play - and this will occupy him for a good hour!)
2. Leash (Yes, I've used one of these!! When flying by myself, I put this on him and put the leash between my legs to hold on to him while I'm folding up the stroller. You'll get lots of looks if you put your child in squeaker shoes and they're trying to get away and running on the spot!!!)
3. Snacks! Pack a variety! And of course a sippy cup...security has always been good with me and let me bring it through filled with milk although I don't think they have to let you do that when they're over a year.
4. Car seat bag - Now that it is checked luggage, and you don't have it with you like the infant seat, I bought a nice bag to put it in so that it doesn't get filthy and has some protection.

I think that covers the basics of the items I considered necessities for traveling (Yes, I consider the IPad at the top of my necessity list now...sad but true! Connor is obsessed with the IPad and I'm no longer allowed to use it.)

Happy Travels!! And don't let anyone tell you that you can't travel with kids...it may be a different kind of trip sometimes...but you can still do almost all of the same things!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Play Time!

For anyone who hasn't tried out gymboree...I would highly recommend it! There is nothing better than ending your day at gymboree open gym time! We went to open gym time last night and it made my whole exhausting, stressful day vanish! There is something so wonderful about watching your child climb, run, giggle, throw balls and have a great all around play time. Don't get me wrong, Connor laughs and has a blast at home too but there is almost something magical about the play group. The atmosphere is fantastic...with all these parents smiling and watching their children play with so much love in their eyes and they're all talking and playing with other kids that come running over to bring a total stranger a ball or smile...sounds really corny but it is truly a wonderful experience. I try to go every Tuesday but unfortunately work and life get in the way a lot of the time. We also go to the play and learn classes on Saturday mornings. For those of you not familiar with it, it is a structured play class with bubbles, peekaboo puppets, climbing apparatuses, parachute time as well as music and dance. Connor is a VERY social baby so he loves to go and show off and talk to everyone. Connor just hit 21 months and I am so enthralled with watching him participate lately. It is amazing how much they change in a short period of time. He know likes to dance along to the song and follow the directions himself whereas just a month ago we would hold him and do the motions. Where did that little baby go and when did he turn into such a big boy?!?!?! Now all the little kids are watching Connor in awe whereas just a few months ago he would watch bigger kids with that awestruck look!

On a side note...there was a couple with a little girl there last night who was crawling around and having a great time. Another parent asked how old she was (she was almost 11 months) and if she was walking yet...the parents looked a little panicky..."she's started to take a couple steps holding on to things". Why do we worry so much about movement as parents? Connor was 11 months before he was crawling and 14 months before he was walking...now he won't stop walking, climbing, dancing...I sure wish I didn't worry so much about movement before and just enjoyed his limited ability to get around! I am still guilty of this though...I check the developmental milestones every month and check that he is at or surpassing each one...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Mommy body...

I am not a big girl, never have been, but I got fairly large during my pregnancy. I gained 55 pounds and when you start out at just over 120 that is a fairly significant weight gain. I didn't retain water and swell...I just got the biggest belly and thoroughly enjoyed it. For some reason society has a tendency to want to squash the enjoyment of pregnancy. I had so many people tell me that I would never be small again and I was never going to look the same. Well, I am slightly smaller now then I was before Connor, and I find myself wanting to be in better shape than I ever was to prove the point that moms can look good too! A week ago I ran my first ever 10km race and although I didn't have a fantastic time (1 hour and 3 mins), I made my goal of completing it without ever stopping to walk. I'm very proud of myself!!! (Oh, and I did it in funky underwear to raise money for below the belt cancers...felt incredibly self conscious, but I did it!!) My goal is to keep running and stay fit so that I can do all these kinds of things with Connor as he gets older. During my maternity leave I did a stroller class and a mom and baby boot camp to kick start the process and I found it an amazing way to spend the last few months of my maternity leave. It gave me quality time with Connor and improved my self esteem. It also got me out with other moms with kids around the same age and gave me the chance to talk about any issues I was having and hear about other moms issues...which is always a good thing so that you don't feel ostracised. A really fun class to look into is mom and baby salsa. Connor loved it. He would snuggle into the carrier and sleep through the class. And if you are like me and have two left feet, your partner doesn't care! To all those beautiful pregos...don't stress and enjoy your pregnancy...join some classes and have fun with your baby to get back into shape. It makes the maternity leave so much fun!!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Boobies and Babies!

Nursing can be such a sensitive topic. Do you nurse or use formula? Do you nurse till they're one or two years old? Do you nurse in public? Do you let it all hang out or cover the girls up? Do you enjoy the bonding of it? Do you stress over milk production?...the list of questions and concerns is ongoing. I personally loved nursing and the bonding of it but I had a really rough start. Nursing is on the forefront of my mind at the moment because I just stopped nursing Connor (Yes, he's 20 months). It has been an emotional week for both Connor and I. We've been trying to stop for a couple of weeks and then I think I stopped producing milk. He got very angry and upset about it so I let him latch and when nothing came out he had a full blown hissy fit! Everyone has differing opinions on how late to nurse but for me I had originally thought I would be done at a year but Connor wouldn't take a bottle and still seemed to need that time with me so we continued on until I felt he was ready. I wasn't running around town nursing him but snuggling and nursing him for 10 mins before bed. I would get some really dirty looks from people that asked about it and then get encouragement from the public health office. The world health organization and the Canadian government both encourage nursing until the age of 2 so that is what I decided to go with in the end. I think it is a very personal decision and that only the mother can decide what is right for timing. Some people don't enjoy the experience and find it stressful but still try to make it to 6 months. I think nursing is wonderful but I struggled for the first 3 months to get him to latch properly and almost gave up on it a few times so I think that people who decide to go the formula route for whatever reason shouldn't be judged and mothers that nurse for a couple years should be left alone as well. The whole experience should be enjoyable and right for both mother and child. Now that it has really sunk in that we are done, I kind of want to cry! I was ready to finish but that bonding experience was amazing and I loved it. I know we will be bonding in different ways now but it still emotional for me...and Connor. For moms that struggle with the first few months I encourage you to go to le leche league meetings. They helped me figure it out and I'm really happy that I had that bonding cuddle time with Connor.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Trials of Motherhood

As much as you want to focus on the blessings sometimes you have to just say "thank goodness they're cute" because you really don't know what else will get you through it! I have no idea what was going on the last few nights. We've always had sleep issues...which is why I love the book "Go the F to Sleep"...but the past little while I am at an absolute loss! Last night he screamed and pinched and was absolutely losing it...I have battle wounds to prove it...and then he finally cuddled next to me and went to sleep. They only seem to go to sleep when you are in the most awkward position...my head was half off the bed...but there was no way I was going to risk moving until he was dead asleep so I held my neck up and tried to focus on reading a book for 15 mins until I thought I could shift him...bad move...would have been better off with a badly kinked neck. He woke up screaming. And my child doesn't have one of those nice little cries...it is a high pitch, shriek, death scream! He lost it for another 20 mins and was completely inconsolable. Screaming and sobbing so hard that his body was shaking. All I could do was hold him and rock him (again in an uncomfortable position that seemed to calm him best and today my hip is killing me). There is nothing worse than an inconsolable child when you have NO IDEA what is wrong. It is heart breaking!!! After a good 20 mins he passed back out and I managed to lie him down. All that runs through my head is different things it could be...teeth, tummy ache, something hurting, angry about not nursing??? He seems to be in a good mood this morning but I'm a little nervous for what tonight will bring with Chris out playing hockey again. I'm not sure I have enough energy left to get me through another bad night. Prior to last night he has been taking on average 2-3 hours to get to bed. He's figured out that he should ask for a drink or cry that he is hungry and that will get him downstairs...now that I've resorted to bringing a sippy of water and crackers to the bedroom he just yells at the door. I may have to resort to a deadlock soon if this continues cause he is busy working on the little knob locks and I don't think it will be long before he can get out of my room. Smart little bugger. He may be crazy busy but he always stops to focus on the things he figures he should be able to do. The last time he focused like this was figuring out how to open the doors. At 15 months he was jumping up to grab the handle with a finger to get through all the doors in the house. Again...THANK GOODNESS THEY'RE CUTE!!!!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Babies...

I keep talking to all these beautiful pregnant girls about all different baby issues from being peed and pooped on to nursing to fears of the unknown...it's funny to look back and think about it all because I have this little man now and it seems like forever ago that he was so little...but it was only 20 months ago that I was scared to leave the hospital and not know what to do! It makes me excited for the next one when (hopefully) I won't be as scared to go home! I recently spoke to a girl about wipe warmers and the benefits of being able to cover your little boy with a warm wipe to avoid being sprayed. I really don't think I could count the number of times I was peed on...or had one of those wonderful milky poop explosions cover my clothes on the way out the door. The most memorable of those experiences is being covered while trying to nurse in the car while visiting my sister for the first time in San Francisco. I had just started nursing him when I felt it...my pants where covered...so I tried to wrap a bunch of receiving blankets around him to go find a bathroom...SF has NO change tables anywhere. A screaming, hungry, poopy baby is not fun...especially when you yourself are also covered...after enlisting the help of my husband and sister (they finally came back to see if I was done nursing) we got him all cleaned up in the trunk of the car and then had to go find some cheap pants for me to purchase so that we could continue on to the restaurant. I never thought I would look back at it as a fond memory!

As I talk to all these new moms and moms-to-be I realize that there are so many things I want to tell them that I wish people had told me (I tend to lack a filter)...but as I'm telling them things I realize that it doesn't come across as I want it to...how do you explain being pooped on as a good memory, or that you're exhausted and glowing happy, or that when they won't go to bed till 11pm and you can't get the kitchen cleaned and your stressed but they smile at you and say "momma" that nothing else matters? All I can say is that the little things people are trying to tell you so that you are aware of things you'll encounter, isn't a list of bad things, but things to make you more prepared. There is no way to explain the love and happiness you'll feel so the amazing parts aren't left out because they are insignificant but because they are indescribable!